Life Is Good... But I Can Still Complain, Right?

I don't know what switched lately.  Maybe my hormone levels are returning to normal after being pregnant for 17 months.  No, it wasn't one consecutive pregnancy... two pregnancies... back to back.  Two month down time in between.  It's been a long road.  Sunday is the 1 year anniversary of our first daughter's delivery.  I don't say birth because she was a still born.  Pyper Maxine Moore was delivered on August 1, 2009.  The most difficult day of my life.  I don't want to dwell on the sadness, but I do want to remember her.  She was full term and my first.  After the delivery my husband and I were not sure what to do.  There was no explanation as to what happened.  We comforted each other and low and behold, two months later we were pregnant again.  This pregnancy was quite different.  With the first, there was a lot of tension and nervousness.  With the second I figured that the worst had already happened to me... nothing could be as bad as what we had already experienced, so I was more at ease.  It doesn't make much sense, but that is how I felt.  I was watched closely by the doctors and on May 27, 2010, we delivered a very healthy baby girl.  She is the light of our lives.  Amazing in every way.  Even her poop filled diapers make me smile.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be this happy.  I have an amazing husband who loves me completely.  He would move heaven and earth for me, and of this I am sure.  I have a daughter who every time I pick her up, she smiles at me and it brightens my day.  I have never felt so needed or loved.  I have family who are always there to back me up.  We may not always get along, but I am learning to let them all have their quirks and just enjoy them.  Who is perfect anyway?  Certainly not me.  And I have in laws who I absolutely adore. They accepted me quickly and I feel like I am one of the tribe. 

Life is good.  For the first time in a long, long time... I can take a deep breath.  Even though I am not perfect, I am loved.  I wish I could bottle this for the next time things feel so out of control.