Happy Wife Happy Life

I think that when people say "Happy Wife Happy Life" they are thinking about the happiness of the husband.  I think it makes every one's life happier.  I made the decision this week that I was going to let go of all the negativity that I normally carry around with me.  All the "poor me" crap... all the anger at bad drivers, mean people and those who have done me wrong.  I was going to let go of all the stress of bills and guilt and pressures of life.  I would still deal with them, but I made the choice to just accept them for what they were and not dwell on them and not let them run my life.  It's only Thursday morning, but I have to say that it's worked out well.

This has been a tough week for me.  I am helping Hubby at his shop while his business partner is on vacation and my family is being very helpful and watching out little Moon Beam.  I LOVE that my family is willing and able to watch her but they spoil her terribly... as much as you can spoil a two month old.  They hold her all day long and when she isn't relaxing in their arms quietly sucking her bottle, she is sleeping and drooling on shoulders kept warm by their body heat.  This makes me very happy because I know that she is being cared for, but at night... she is wide awake and wants to be held.  Moon Beam not sleeping means Mommy not sleeping.  Daddy sleeps though.  He would sleep if a plane crashed into our house.  He would wake in the morning to find the wreckage and wonder what the hell happened. 

In addition to all that, I don't know Hubby's business very well.  I am still learning so things in the shop can get very stressful.  I don't always know how to find prices and I don't always know how to help customers and the customers... well they are not always so nice.  I haven't had time to clean the house, do laundry or any of the other things that need to get done.  This would normally make me feel guilty and upset. 

Just by telling myself that it is what it is has made me feel better.  I had one small melt down this week but looking at the big picture... that isn't that bad.  I am realizing that life is what we make it.  Bad things happen to everyone and there isn't one person on this earth who doesn't have problems.  Maybe they have plenty of money, but they don't ever feel truly loved.  Maybe they have a wonderful family, but don't have the money to properly support them.  Maybe they have a beautiful house, but no friends to invite over.  Everyone has problems and issues and things that get them down, but we are the ones who can change it for ourselves.  No one is going to ride in on a white horse and make everything better.  We must do it for ourselves.  Stop feeling sorry for ourselves.  Stop over dramatizing our lives.  Stop talking behind peoples backs. 

This week, Hubby has appreciated the help that I am giving him in the office and at home he appreciates the fact that I am holding it together even though I am absolutely exhausted.  He appreciates that I take care of our little Moon Beam and that she is a healthy well adjusted two month old.  He appreciates that I have been letting him cook and that I have been keeping a smile on my face even at 6:00 AM with 2 hours sleep and a chest full of baby barf.  Because I am not losing it, he is happy and in return... I am happy.

Happy wife happy life?  I think it's for everyone.

My Moon Beam

There is nothing in the world like a baby... especially if you gave birth to it.  :-)  These are some pictures of my Moon Beam.  She is 2 months old and amazing us every day.  We are so blessed to have her in our lives.

Life Is Good... But I Can Still Complain, Right?

I don't know what switched lately.  Maybe my hormone levels are returning to normal after being pregnant for 17 months.  No, it wasn't one consecutive pregnancy... two pregnancies... back to back.  Two month down time in between.  It's been a long road.  Sunday is the 1 year anniversary of our first daughter's delivery.  I don't say birth because she was a still born.  Pyper Maxine Moore was delivered on August 1, 2009.  The most difficult day of my life.  I don't want to dwell on the sadness, but I do want to remember her.  She was full term and my first.  After the delivery my husband and I were not sure what to do.  There was no explanation as to what happened.  We comforted each other and low and behold, two months later we were pregnant again.  This pregnancy was quite different.  With the first, there was a lot of tension and nervousness.  With the second I figured that the worst had already happened to me... nothing could be as bad as what we had already experienced, so I was more at ease.  It doesn't make much sense, but that is how I felt.  I was watched closely by the doctors and on May 27, 2010, we delivered a very healthy baby girl.  She is the light of our lives.  Amazing in every way.  Even her poop filled diapers make me smile.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be this happy.  I have an amazing husband who loves me completely.  He would move heaven and earth for me, and of this I am sure.  I have a daughter who every time I pick her up, she smiles at me and it brightens my day.  I have never felt so needed or loved.  I have family who are always there to back me up.  We may not always get along, but I am learning to let them all have their quirks and just enjoy them.  Who is perfect anyway?  Certainly not me.  And I have in laws who I absolutely adore. They accepted me quickly and I feel like I am one of the tribe. 

Life is good.  For the first time in a long, long time... I can take a deep breath.  Even though I am not perfect, I am loved.  I wish I could bottle this for the next time things feel so out of control.